Someone did an exercise where you had to think about where you were at at 15, and what would you tell yourself at that age. This is what I wrote.
“15, wow……oh yes….I was at a point where I was starting to recognize what talents I had. Home life was a mess but at school I was super creative, was on the stage and I was “in love”. That was my “on cloud 9″ year. Until life hit and things went pretty much ballistic. … So I would say, when the storm hits, remember who you are and what you have gotten through so far, stay brave, stay humble, continue to love more, continue to laugh more, the big dreams you had are coming, dream bigger.”
I didn’t realize how triggering it would be, even though I’ve done this exercise before. The difference was I did it at different ages. Something about my sophomore year of highschool was triggering. That year was a fun year for me, no matter what happened in my past. No matter if my step mom hated me and I was being picked on at school, I was truly happy because at school, I was being creative, I was on the stage doing showchoir and theater. I was “in love” and to this day we are close friends. I was doing what Ehi wanted to do. After that year, life hit hard. The good, bad and traumatizing. . . I never got to that happy place ever again. . . until I learned maybe a year ago that happiness is not steady it comes and goes.
Even now as I put on a brave face and I am tackling on bigger challenges in life. Not only do I need to do this for myself but I want more people to, think about the happiest moment in your life and now think about where you are currently and try to take in moments of happiness that’s happening in your life. Whether it’s a fun activity you’re doing, or you cracked a smile for the first time in days…live in that moment for a second longer. . .
…now Im about to go wake my kids up for school